run away
Tuesday, May 7, 2013 @ 11:33 PM | 2 dreamers

i bet most people choose to stay in dream than reality
i'm one of them actually
there's so many conflicts in true life
but it is simple and easy to live in a fantasy
i hope my life just simple as that
thinking nothing except myself
what a life
and that's truly impossible 

if i'm not too responsible as i am right now
i'll run away and choose to block everything
but even i did that, my life won't be easy and perfect
it'll turn into HELL
keep running away doesn't give any merit 
because to live, don't forget the responsibilities
once forgotten, no purpose of continuing this life anymore

it's like a road
when there's bumper in front, car need to be slowed down
when the traffic light turn red, car need to be stopped
there's rules that must be followed right
same as reality
no responsibility in-self no way life can be go on 
i guess i can't run except face and do it

* if you do everything right and with all the effort you have, it'll be easy and just try 
without trying you're nothing just a piece of trash on the road. useless


am i a bad person @ horrible friend
@ 11:03 PM | 0 dreamers

there's something that bothered me so much
is it really true that
i'm the bad and i'm the horrible person on earth ?
i don't know why am i asking
because i felt that way
and that's why
oh gosh

perhaps i'm not fit enough to be a good one
everybody is not perfect and yes it's true
but i want to pretend at least perfect
you know what i mean right
it's just i'm not good enough that's all
such a low and this is suck actually
it's hard to live like this

you know what
people expect me to be more than already me
i'm so sorry because i just can't
i've tried lot of things just to change myself in present
and the result = BAD
i'm NOT so big friendly stuff, bad at emotion and expression
worse at messaging, horrible at calling, suck at social thing
bye bye to talking
there's more i guess

i don't know how treat you, friends
but i try to do my best on it
many people say i'm such a cocky
there's many part in it and i don't know in which part i am
actually when i'm walking i'm just ignore everything around me
if i'm with my friends, i just stare and talk to them only

to make it simple to understand
i lived in my 'own' world and nobody can enter 
or break it down
i supposed i'm the weird one
i deserved not to be having lot of friends
i deserved not to be acknowledged my existence
i deserved not to be like everyone else should be
right ? 

it's fine actually
because i don't really care about it
and that's me
a person who doesn't really care and just having a carefree life
i've one stuff that i need to share
i'm totally terrible in memorizing about my surroundings and sort of it
numbers, names, that are two examples 
but i remember every faces and the pictures i've met and captured

i'm terribly sorry for those who mad at me
who hate me and who maybe doesn't want to become my friend anymore
because of my unforgivable attitude 
but i really do hope you guys forgive me
this is the way i act and the way i am
perhaps the people who've been friends with me for quite long time
doesn't really get what kind of person i am
that's fine and i feel just good
as long as we're friends 

* what a weirdo right
perhaps unique
even i don't get it
very strange

* it doesn't matter who you are because what matter is you wanna be friends with people sincerely.
that's the biggest thing you need to understand about.